i feel like tumblr doesnt know about the pain and suffering that is english tap water,,,, girl there are stalagmites inside me
Lmao op lives in the south. The tap water up here is from fucking springs. It’s so clean and fresh and has no stalagmites whatsoever. Cope and seethe southerner
My bones are so strong from all the chalk I’ve been drinking that I could mull you into a fine paste
You guys are like a two hour drive from each other
the way redbubble showcases products in awful minimalist workspaces is such a great source of comedy
can you imagine being in a rich persons house and it’s all horrible postmodernist architecture and neutral colors and they take you to their living room and theres just this
they’ve been working on a fucking prank on me since april i’m so goddamn indignant
tell them what the prank was, clare
so for fucking months now we’ve been saying we were going to watch Blade, because i’d never seen it, but somebody was always too tired or too busy, but tonight we decided fuck it, tomorrow’s ciaran’s friday, let’s watch Blade
the first 40 minutes or so pass with many a delighted exclamation. stan lee was credited & i’m told blade was a marvel property, which is news to me. i’m thoroughly enjoying myself. the cop familiar gets the shit beat out of him & tells blade to check the fridge. the wind roars as the scene transition fades to black.
in fades a helicopter. a man with long dark hair on crutches emerges from it. i do not immediately recognize the man, but from the crutches & the hair i immediately go “morbius??”
they assure me he isn’t morbius. i accept that they don’t want to admit he’s morbius for some reason (maybe they just don’t want me to think blade is in the mcu?) as the entirety of michael morbius’s backstory plays out on screen.
i repeatedly ask “okay but this is literally morbius right” and “why are you doing this” as it becomes increasingly clear that we are now, somehow, watching Morbius (2022). everyone continues to insist it’s Blade (1999) until finally i ask “how long were you planning this” and logan says “you wanna know how long” and gives me a screenshot
fucking months of me genuinely wanting to watch the movie Blade (1999) with my friends and they goddamn Blorbius me. I got Blorbiused.
